forgiveness, or something like that

Lexi Lane

There is beauty in innocence,
and lord knows I always have time to romanticize.
I used to always spin in circles,
and no one understands what it means but me.

I used to love to wear dresses as a young girl,
that’d flutter in the air whenever I jumped off a curb.

I was the butterfly that I once held in the palm of my hand,
but this time nobody had control over me.

There’s beauty in destruction as well.
I know this.
I felt that same way when I stared at bruises on my legs,
from tripping over those same curbs in the middle of the night
outside of the casino.

I felt that way when I used to look at you.
You are not you, not anymore.
Are any of you even you?
Did you think it was beautiful every time I unraveled and fell apart?

In the days when there were red and blue lights
reflecting in your eyes,
and all those old songs come to mind.
“Out here the good girls die”
and “It takes a bit more than you.”